| Platform | History (see below) | Candidates |
Welcome to our wonderful website. We use big first letters because they make us look more official and professional, though we really aren't.
The United States Pizza Party was founded on Halloween, 2004, by Idont Havaname and The Hazmat, two disenfranchised voters (Havaname voted anyway), who were sick of pie-in-the-sky promises and leaders who throw pies in the face of the Constitution. "These leaders," argued Havaname, "promise free health care, free conscription, and free bickering in the Capitol, while they only need to provide two things: national defense and pizza. And indeed, pizza can be used for national defense." The Hazmat could not be reached for comment -- evidence that divisions exist today even among people that want pizza.
November 06, 2004. The United States Pizza Party, a new satirical political party, is pleased to announce that it has decided on its Presidential/ Vice Presidential ticket for the year 20WhenWe'reOldEnough. Idont Havaname, computer science major and generally very learned guy, has been nominated for President, and The Hazmat, political scholar and King of Underappreciated Drummers, has been given the nod for Vice President. The announcement was made in front of a cheering, taxpayer-funded computer keyboard in The Lab.